It's been ...

The last 'gathering' was march 13th. My grandma's funeral,  in case you wonder. I was late. Long drive,  muddied with delays.  I was already in a flare,  so the 2.5 hr drive was torturous. Arrived late, sat down, ten minutes later,  it was over. 💔 Got back in the car for the return ride home.  Threw up all the way home.  (Sorry, Sam, for that memory) Never really processed the loss.  I'm just now realizing. 😢

Since that day,  there's been nothing.  I haven't seen my dad face to face since the funeral. He's over 70. I don't know when it'll be safe to see him.  

Gatherings are no longer.  

March 13: My son closed on his first home.  I've yet to see it. 

April: 

My baby turned 18. Zero fanfare. 

My firstborn turned 30.

 We last saw one another Christmas '19. 

May:

*Mothers Day and my Birthday

*My baby graduates high school,  without ever returning from spring break in early March. Zero fanfare. 

September:

 Daughter turns 29

October: 

My son's wedding was supposed to be in October.  It's now going to be next year. 

 We're now approaching yet another 'holiday' that won't be celebrated as in the past.  

No wonder I feel this way.