Friday, June 28, 2019


I've found VERY quickly that many people are confused about my "new" self... 
What they're NOT understanding is that this isn't a fucking fad, I'm not trying to make a statement, etc. 
When I hit my 50th birthday, I suddenly realized I had been diagnosed a full decade prior with ME/CFS...
Upon reflection, I DECIDED that with the limited daily energy my body allows, I CAN NOT, and WILL NOT, spend that coveted energy on the BULLSHIT any more. It's a conscious decision, and I'm working REALLY hard to honor myself by no longer wasting a precious commodity that healthy people (I know this is true~ I WAS one of 'those people') take for granted. 
I've spent much of my energy on things that matter so little to me now. cleaning the house, doing laundry, washing dishes, cooking dinner, etc... have been significantly altered on my priority scale. 
I am aware that having my body essentially fight itself from the inside out has likely reduced the life expectancy for me. I decided I want to spend my energy doing things that ENRICH my life rather than reduce it. Simple as that. (yeah right, huh? nothing's ever simple, I'm still needing occasional self-reminders to keep practicing this behavior)
So, when we moved into this rental after the catastrophic betrayal at the ranch, I began to sort through every belonging I had. I began to question whether any of those belongings either enriched, or harmed, my life. And I began to purge. And purge. And purge. 
I've been brought to an almost blissful mental state on the better days. (The REAL secret to life: rid body of rx meds, artificially scented anything, chemical cleaners, most commercial products for your skin/house/body then begin cannabis use!) I look around and see SO MUCH MORE simplicity.