how am I to hold space for a grief such as this?

That my very illness, in greater severity, 

Would qualify for elective euthanasia

Where its legal. 

The mindfuck almost

More than I can handle.

The increasing likelihood 

That a covid infection will

Bring me to that level of symptom severity,

Pokes at me to answer

Whether I would

If given the choice

I'm not ready to look at that.