But seriously, at 32, I had another EIGHT years of ignorant bliss about my future with chronic illness.
(I already had a congenital condition, aka chronic illness #1, that I didn't yet realize WAS a condition)
It was no more on my radar than prostate cancer 🤷♀️ because in spite of lifelong chronic pain, I thought I was fairly healthy.
No symptoms that were cause for concern of DISEASE, that's for sure.
But that's the thing.
The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
By the time you're symptomatic, you're fighting, or managing, or worse, succumbing to disease.
I imagine what I felt with diagnosis might feel as traumatic and unbelievable as a cancer diagnosis, but the irony is that cancer, while potentially terminal, has treatment options
While M.E. causes geriatricized mitochondria, slow systemic damage.
It isn't necessarily considered 'terminal' (although I will still have it when I die, even if I somehow surpass 100), there's
NO viable treatment or cure,
plus it WILL disable you.
Were I to possess the ability to prevent anyone else from the same suffering, I would sacrifice myself to do so.
I've spent the past decade and a half simultaneously feeling grateful to still be alive and wishing I could end the suffering,
While pretending I'm fine so as to comfort those around me and disappearing while at my worst, so no one has to see me.
I don't need anyone's sympathy,
It's empathy I seek.
One day, it could be you... or someone you really love✌️
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