Simple

I've found VERY quickly that many people are confused about my "new" self... 

What they're NOT understanding is that this isn't a fucking fad, I'm not trying to make a statement, etc. 

When I hit my 50th birthday, I suddenly realized I had been diagnosed a full decade prior with ME/CFS...

Upon reflection, I DECIDED that with the limited daily energy my body allows, I CAN NOT, and WILL NOT, spend that coveted energy on the BULLSHIT any more. It's a conscious decision, and I'm working REALLY hard to honor myself by no longer wasting a precious commodity that healthy people (I know this is true~ I WAS one of 'those people') take for granted. 

I've spent much of my energy on things that matter so little to me now. cleaning the house, doing laundry, washing dishes, cooking dinner, etc... have been significantly altered on my priority scale. 

I am aware that having my body essentially fight itself from the inside out has likely reduced the life expectancy for me. I decided I want to spend my energy doing things that ENRICH my life rather than reduce it. Simple as that. (yeah right, huh? nothing's ever simple, I'm still needing occasional self-reminders to keep practicing this behavior)

So, when we moved into this rental after the catastrophic betrayal at the ranch, I began to sort through every belonging I had. I began to question whether any of those belongings either enriched, or harmed, my life. And I began to purge. And purge. And purge. 

I've been brought to an almost blissful mental state on the better days. (The REAL secret to life: rid body of rx meds, artificially scented anything, chemical cleaners, most commercial products for your skin/house/body then begin cannabis use!) I look around and see SO MUCH MORE simplicity. 

MAY 01

I'm allowed to grieve for my life before illness...

if I focus on that that grief, I'll drown. I'm focused on the shoreline... 

next chapter:

Chronic Illness (I have several, although I talk the most about M.E. because it's impact has been the largest presence) has forced me to re-evaluate EVERYTHING (and everyone) in my life... 

I've been becoming who I need to be for this next chapter. 

after the short break, I'm back on track. (I hope...)

So. I have been unwell. The flip/flop weather makes my body ANGRY. I've been stressing over it as well, which certainly delays improvement, but sometimes I sink a bit, and struggle to get out of my own head... I'm working hard to get all of this stuff sold, please bear with me. 

I'm going to be uploading more items beginning today. Please share if you know anyone LOCAL (Delano, Mn) who might be interested in ANYTHING I've listed....

The unveiling begins

That sounds especially dramatic, when in truth, I'm merely describing the GIANT effort made over the past several months to gather, sort, categorize, catalog, inventory, organize, blah blah blah. (I'm definitely a "wordie"... don't get me started.)
Here's the project. I'm selling everything I have amassed, it appears for me, they no longer spark joy. I've been taking pics, folding, sizing, and making 'lots' of items for sale, (of course, this is local pickup only) and hoping I'm able to clear the space soon. 
I'm trying to decide the best way to spread these without being intrusive, but truth is, there's a need to sell everything as quickly as possible, because I'm doing this to pay my medical expenses. My monthly healthcare needs are placing an enormous strain on our family financially. 
Check back frequently, I'll create a post and continue to update as I feel well enough to do so. PLEASE be patient. My illness is a dictator. 

winter in Minnesota

 Winter in Minnesota. 

Also winter in Minnesota

Also winter (indoors) in Minnesota

Another Blessing Deep, Deep in Disguise

Feb 14. Going to the pharmacy to retrieve my refill on the ONE rx to which I am tethered. For now. I went off of it for 11 months at the unfortunate onset (that I did not foresee, or I wouldn't have tried to cease the meds at that time)of a VERY stressful time for our family, and my depression and anxiety became very very dark. And so, I need the science behind the meds right now. I'm NOT a big pharma basher, I simply express what works/ does not work for ME. (steps off of soap box)

Since both my hubby and son lost their jobs on December 31st 2018, we were SUDDENLY and without warning, sans health coverage. boom!  In January, my refill date came so quickly after we lost benefits, I didn't have time to register options I might have to save a buck, and sadly, no one mentioned it when I paid FULL PRICE on Jan 8th, for a 30 day supply, I paid $153.xx

Jump back to sentence one, see above, and I'm ready this time. I've looked up RX discount cards all over, and have found one that covers unlisted pharmacies, which meant mine. I had a screenshot ready to show the pharmacist, and I was fingers~crossed ready. Right? 

So.... of course, my phone plopped out of my sweatshirt pocket as I stood in front of the bathroom vanity, and without ceremony, jumped into the toilet. Rather than accompany my to the pharmacy, my phone took a nap in a bin of rice. 

So, I arrive at the pharmacy, and ASKED about said code, explaining about my phone, and how I no longer have access to the code. Without hesitation, the kind young man re-entered the rx, and charged me $28.xx for the month. Which means, if you've been paying attention to my 'slightly rambling' story, with a 2 second request, I saved about $120.00 !! I was SO happy. He told me he saved me a bit of money, but didn't specify how much. I calculated when I got home, and the difference between the price a month ago was astounding! And yes, if you've been counting, you'll note I IMMEDIATELY began to spread out my meds after paying full price in January. And yes, I'm aware mental health meds should be taken every 24 hours, but I discovered I had no real effect in stretching them to 30 hours, even up to 36 hours. It bought me an extra week without a refill. Now that I've discovered they're under 1 dollar per day, I'm back to taking them as prescribed. No lectures, please. I'm old enough to just tell you, I'm going to do ME. I know my body and limits best, and it's MY life. Love your concern, but I'm cool. 

BONUS:  In addition to the medication savings, I've also been without a functional phone since 2/14. It powers up, but will no longer charge unless I use an external battery charger. Which I have been doing, with 2 batteries. They take 2 hours to charge, then the phone will overheat, over-notify, and drain the fully charged battery in under 20 minutes. Which means I get approximately 40 minutes daily for phone check. 

The hidden blessing is that I am LOVING the break from social media. And, I've also decided to finally exit from FB permanently. I don't trust them any more. Too many angry birds lurking around... and you know what? It feels GOOD! Those who really care at all will find me here. And I'll be away from the propaganda, and fucking celebrity IQ tests, etc. (Who is that shallow!?!)