The unveiling begins

That sounds especially dramatic, when in truth, I'm merely describing the GIANT effort made over the past several months to gather, sort, categorize, catalog, inventory, organize, blah blah blah. (I'm definitely a "wordie"... don't get me started.)
Here's the project. I'm selling everything I have amassed, it appears for me, they no longer spark joy. I've been taking pics, folding, sizing, and making 'lots' of items for sale, (of course, this is local pickup only) and hoping I'm able to clear the space soon. 
I'm trying to decide the best way to spread these without being intrusive, but truth is, there's a need to sell everything as quickly as possible, because I'm doing this to pay my medical expenses. My monthly healthcare needs are placing an enormous strain on our family financially. 
Check back frequently, I'll create a post and continue to update as I feel well enough to do so. PLEASE be patient. My illness is a dictator. 

winter in Minnesota

 Winter in Minnesota. 

Also winter in Minnesota

Also winter (indoors) in Minnesota

Another Blessing Deep, Deep in Disguise

Feb 14. Going to the pharmacy to retrieve my refill on the ONE rx to which I am tethered. For now. I went off of it for 11 months at the unfortunate onset (that I did not foresee, or I wouldn't have tried to cease the meds at that time)of a VERY stressful time for our family, and my depression and anxiety became very very dark. And so, I need the science behind the meds right now. I'm NOT a big pharma basher, I simply express what works/ does not work for ME. (steps off of soap box)

Since both my hubby and son lost their jobs on December 31st 2018, we were SUDDENLY and without warning, sans health coverage. boom!  In January, my refill date came so quickly after we lost benefits, I didn't have time to register options I might have to save a buck, and sadly, no one mentioned it when I paid FULL PRICE on Jan 8th, for a 30 day supply, I paid $153.xx

Jump back to sentence one, see above, and I'm ready this time. I've looked up RX discount cards all over, and have found one that covers unlisted pharmacies, which meant mine. I had a screenshot ready to show the pharmacist, and I was fingers~crossed ready. Right? 

So.... of course, my phone plopped out of my sweatshirt pocket as I stood in front of the bathroom vanity, and without ceremony, jumped into the toilet. Rather than accompany my to the pharmacy, my phone took a nap in a bin of rice. 

So, I arrive at the pharmacy, and ASKED about said code, explaining about my phone, and how I no longer have access to the code. Without hesitation, the kind young man re-entered the rx, and charged me $28.xx for the month. Which means, if you've been paying attention to my 'slightly rambling' story, with a 2 second request, I saved about $120.00 !! I was SO happy. He told me he saved me a bit of money, but didn't specify how much. I calculated when I got home, and the difference between the price a month ago was astounding! And yes, if you've been counting, you'll note I IMMEDIATELY began to spread out my meds after paying full price in January. And yes, I'm aware mental health meds should be taken every 24 hours, but I discovered I had no real effect in stretching them to 30 hours, even up to 36 hours. It bought me an extra week without a refill. Now that I've discovered they're under 1 dollar per day, I'm back to taking them as prescribed. No lectures, please. I'm old enough to just tell you, I'm going to do ME. I know my body and limits best, and it's MY life. Love your concern, but I'm cool. 

BONUS:  In addition to the medication savings, I've also been without a functional phone since 2/14. It powers up, but will no longer charge unless I use an external battery charger. Which I have been doing, with 2 batteries. They take 2 hours to charge, then the phone will overheat, over-notify, and drain the fully charged battery in under 20 minutes. Which means I get approximately 40 minutes daily for phone check. 

The hidden blessing is that I am LOVING the break from social media. And, I've also decided to finally exit from FB permanently. I don't trust them any more. Too many angry birds lurking around... and you know what? It feels GOOD! Those who really care at all will find me here. And I'll be away from the propaganda, and fucking celebrity IQ tests, etc. (Who is that shallow!?!)

Consistency can be a Challenge with Chronic Illnesses

I'm trying to make posting a more consistent thing. Struggling because every time I decide I'm well enough to blog, my chatty mind begins to ramble, making it appear any attempted post would end up several thousand meaningless words, thrown up in an attempt to be "worth" being read, which leads to no post at all. Reality tells me 3 words are as important as 300, and nobody really needs to read the words for my feelings to be valid. This is about purging thoughts rather than hanging onto them. Part of my life now, going forward, is about just expressing it and being able to move on. 

So.... here are some pics I took this week. Every morning, I open the drapes to let in natural lighting, then I watch the bird feeder traffic for a while, as my body wakes and whines itself back to upright. 

This is some of what I get to see...

oops. I did it again...

Slipped yester~eve, around 5pm. Getting back into truck after visiting ATM. Right foot on runner, left foot up in truck. Right  foot slips completely off of runner, hits ground, continues pulling me into splits. Hanging onto seatbelt strap. Regain footing, ripping pain on right side. hip/low back. muscle throbs immediately. Get home, pace for about 45 minutes because I could not fathom lifting my leg to climb onto my bed. Began icing as soon as I lay down, knees propped up... 20 minutes on ice, 40 off. Repeat as necessary. Smoked about 4 puffs before even attempting to lay down. Thankful for cannabis to help take off the edge, but I'm immediately aware that I'm going to be dealing with pain levels of 8, even AFTER cannabis, for however long this hangs on. 
The night was long, and painsomnia is REAL people. This morning I tried my Epsom and essential oils soak in the tub. It was not very pleasant. But I had to try. When I got up this morning, (notice I didn't say when I "woke") I noted right away that although my "injury" was on the right side, I'm now feeling it all of the LEFT side. (experience hints that my left side pulled to "correct" the tweak from my slip, because my back is in a spasm on the left.)
I'm holding my breath and "puffing" a lot. I used to be oblivious to that behavior until it was pointed out. Today, it's annoyingly obvious. Coping mechanisms are strange. I was new ones. After my replacement body arrives. Then I'll work on my quirks.
I'm nervous. Who knows whether "this" will be the time it cannot resolve without medical intervention. Now. First time without insurance since President Obama's plan saved me. Now effective 12/31, boom! No household income, no benefits. And, here. Wipe out, hurt your back...Welcome to 2019 in America.

Do you ever miss me?

I've been passing time over~thinking a lot lately. Chronic illness is a lonely place. But lately, it's been YOU that sneaks into my thoughts. It's been a long time since we've seen one another face to face. I just wonder whether you also think of me. And what you might be thinking if you DO. I miss being in your life. Samesies? Or pass? 

IT'S DECEMBER!

In case you thought I disappeared... nope. Just struggling with flares due to Minnesota weather changes. We had a snowstorm Saturday, which kicked my ass. (My Epsom bath was too much.) Chew on that. Ugh. 

I've got some stuff churning in the noggin. As soon as I'm able, I'll be updating with a longer post. 

For now, just checking in. 

Hope your weekend was relaxing...